Back to Me
Someday, I will untangle all the messy pieces of my thoughts about the struggle of my first two years of parenthood. I'll sort out all the emotions, the whys and hows of postpartum depression that was missed for WAY too long. I'll get it all out in some eloquent way and make sense of it all. Find the thread of the story that makes it meaningful, and not so heartbreaking.
Summer vacation 2015, 1.75 years into motherhood. Still feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and struggling to enjoy even things that used to make me happy. It was some point during this trip I began to realize this wasn't normal. That something beyond "new mom overwhelm" was happening.
But right now I don't want to talk about that. I want to talk about the turning point forward. The glorious revival. Everything that comes after the moment when my therapist looked at me and said, "What can you do right now to help you feel more like yourself? To make you feel wild and free like you did before...even if it's just for a few minutes a day?" I want to talk about feeling good. I want to talk about returning to the mountains, Returning to the Wild. Returning to me.
I want to talk about adventures I've had and adventures to come. I want to talk about making the most of "this one wild and wonderful life". I want to talk about being fully present in my life and how you can find yourself out there too. I want to talk about getting stoked, and spreading it far and wide. Want to get stoked with me? Good! Let's go!
Summer Vacation 2016, 2.75 years into motherhood. My depression and adrenal fatigue has been getting treated for 8 months now. My experience of our trip this year was 180 degree different. It was joyful, fulfilling, and lovely.